7 Tips to Improve Your Singing Voice

Are you more of a William Hung than a Kelly Clarkson? Or are you a decent singer--and wish you were a little better? Whatever your vocal skill, these tips for improving your singing voice are sure to get you singing and sounding much better.

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Tip 1: Think about breath. Without proper breathing, you aren't using your voice to its full potential. To find out if you're breathing correctly for singing, place your hand on your stomach and inhale. Your hand should move out--your stomach should be expanding, not your ribcage and chest. That's because you need to support your breath with your diaphragm--the muscle underneath the lungs that inflates them. The diaphragm is activated by abdominal muscles, and it's much stronger than the muscles between your ribs--the muscles you're using if your chest, not your stomach, expands with your breath.

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You'll need to have strong breath to give your voice adequate support for singing. To do this, you'll need to use your stomach and lower abdominal muscles to support your breath. Ab crunches and sit-ups can help you build up strength in this area that you can use to project your voice.

Tip 2: Focus on posture. Your breath travels from your lungs straight up through your mouth. If its passage is twisted, kinked, or blocked in any way, it won't be able to get out efficiently. How you stand has a big effect on how you sound. You should be standing with your legs about shoulder-width apart. Your chest should be lifted to give your lungs plenty of room to expand. Your shoulders should be back and relaxed.

Tip 3: Relax. If there's tension anywhere from your abdomen to your head, it'll affect your sound. Your facial muscles, tongue and throat muscles, vocal cords, jaw and shoulders should all be as relaxed as possible. There are plenty of jaw and facial exercises as well as warm-up activities that will help you relax the muscles in your shoulders, face, and vocal cords.

Tip 4: Know where to put your tongue and soft palate. The soft palate should be raised--this will give more space for your voice to resonate. The tip of your tongue should be placed at the back of your teeth. This will keep it from blocking your throat if it's positioned too far back.

Tip 5: Watch what you eat. There's nothing better for your voice than water. Period. If you have a performance coming up, avoid dairy and thick drinks for at least three days beforehand. Drink only water the day of the performance.

Tip 6: Don't strain. Pay attention to your body. If something hurts when you sing, you're either at the limit of your range or you're doing something wrong. You should be able to sing at a strong, healthy volume if you're maintaining proper breath control; if something hurts because you're singing too loudly, you're probably not supporting your voice well with your breath--the vocal cords are doing all the work. If you hurt when trying to hit certain high or low notes, however, it may be that you're trying for a note that's outside of your range. It's true that good breath control can expand your range, but the size of your vocal cords determines the pitches you can reach. You may not be able to hit certain notes no matter how well you support your voice. It's important to choose songs you can sing comfortably. Above all, don't try to sing if you have a sore throat--you may make it worse.

Tip 7: Warm up before singing. Don't go straight into a song without a good warm-up first. A good warm-up routine should concentrate on relaxing your body and getting your breath ready, and should start with simple deep breaths. It should progress to light humming from there, and then some scale work once you feel ready. It's important not to strain too hard during the warm-up process--don't reach for notes that aren't comfortable, and don't sing at the top of your volume.

Tip 8: Get a teacher. A good voice teacher can really help you improve your voice. It's sometimes hard to determine how you sound when you're by yourself; even the most dedicated singer can get into bad habits without feedback. A teacher can give you immediate feedback on how you're doing and address specific problems you may have.

It's a shame that so many people think they can't sing--and wouldn't be caught dead singing in public. In truth, singing is something anyone can learn to do. Follow these tips and practice, and you'll have a singing voice you'll be proud to show off.

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Pain On Top Of The Foot

The purpose of this article is to give you information seekers an easier way to diagnose your pain on the top of the foot. I have noticed that many people use "top of foot pain" as their "search" term.

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I have listed the more common problems that we foot specialists see on a regular basis, but this list is not all inclusive. Pain can occur with or without a history of trauma. Sometimes repetitive action (or microtrauma as I like to call it) can create pain on top of the foot.

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Hopefully this will help you in your search for answers.

TENDONITIS- Diffuse pain on top of the foot which may also include swelling and even redness. There may or may not be a history of trauma.

GANGLION CYST- A spongy to firm lump on top of the foot that may or may not be freely moveable. The lump itself may not be painful on pressure, but pressing on it may cause pain beneath it.

MIDTARSAL FAULT- In people whose feet have a tendency to collapse (fallen arches), there ends up being a jamming of the bones on top of your foot that will lead to pain, with or without shoes. Generally, there will be no history of trauma.

NERVE ENTRAPMENT- There are small nerves running from the ankle down to the toes that are located right under the skin. These are sensory nerves (which give us feeling on the top of the foot). It is not uncommon for these nerves to become traumatized from the pressure of a shoe (mainly tied too tight) putting pressure on the nerve which is then "jammed" into a bony projection underneath it. This nerve is then entrapped and it becomes inflamed and thus painful or in some cases there will be numbness on part of the top of the foot.

STRESS FRACTURE- Without any history of trauma, a person can develop severe pain on the top of the foot usually in the metatarsal area. It will be a localized pain, possibly with some swelling and perhaps redness.

BONE SPUR- A bone spur in the foot is usually a result of arthritic changes in the foot, bone will overgrow and produce abnormal protrusions on top of the foot. Either damage to the specific joint or pressure from your shoe on the overgrowth of bone (bone spur) will cause pain.

SUPERFICIAL PHLEBITIS- Many of the veins on the top of the foot are directly underneath the skin. Since the foot is subject to trauma every step you take, at times the nerves will become inflamed and develop a superficial phlebitis. This is not as dangerous as a deep vein phlebitis seen in the leg, but medical care is warranted.

More detailed information on this subject matter can be found at my web site.

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How to Grow Winter Cabbage and Savoy Cabbage!

Winter Cabbage

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Sowing

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The seed is sown as for summer and autumn cabbages; in the north it may be necessary to sow it in the middle of March, but in areas where the weather is mild it can be sown in April or May. To save time the seeds can be sown where they are to grow. Sow three seeds every 2 ft. (60cm) along a drill; later the plants can be thinned out to allow room for good growth and development. Those that were not sown in their final growing position can be planted out in July allowing 2 ft. (60cm) between the plants.

Harvesting

Winter cabbage will be ready for cutting any time between November and the end of February depending of course on the variety sown. It will be a long time before the hearts burst and run to seed once the cold weather has arrived.

Savoy Cabbage

The Savoy cabbage is a very popular variety; it is mellow-flavoured and cooks well. The loose, full head of crinkled leaves may be seen in most greengrocery shops, but it is the home-grown ones that have the best flavour. To improve the flavour it should be touched by frost, which is generally not a problem as this is a winter cabbage. They do best in heavy loams and it is usual to plant them in the plot where early potatoes or peas have been growing, it will then not be necessary to add farmyard manure to the soil. Fork or rake the soil well and add fish manure at 3 oz. (90g) to the sq. yd. Lime should be applied as a top dressing unless the soil is already chalky. A top dressing of dried blood should be given in early August just to boost the nitrate level.

Sowing

March is the time to prepare a seed bed in a warm position in the vegetable garden. A second sowing can be made a little later in April. Tread the bed firm then rake it to make the soil fine. Drills about ½ in. (12mm) deep and 8 in. (203mm) apart should be made where the seeds are then sown thinly. Do not use all the seed at this sowing for a second sowing should be made mid April and the final sowing at end of the month. For a good succession of Savoy throughout winter, start with the earlier maturing varieties and end with the late varieties.

Planting out

Plant out the early varieties at the end of June and the later ones at the end of July. The rows should be 2 ft. (60cm) apart and allow 2 ft. (60cm) between each plant. However if the varieties are dwarf ones they can be planted as close as 1 ½ ft. (45cm). with only 15 in. (381mm) between the rows. Use a dibber to make a good size hole, after planting them firmly in the ground, water in well.

General Care

Keep down the weeds; watch out for pests such as greenfly, whitefly, and caterpillars. A good way to protect the crop is to add a barrier of fine netting or fleece to keep the flying insects off the plants.

Harvesting

Cut the Savoy's for use when they are fully hearted. Do not be temped to cut until the hearts are quite firm otherwise the flavour will be inferior. Always remove the stalks from the ground after cutting the heads, as they will continue to take up nutrients from the soil, robbing the soil of its richness.

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Why Do We Celebrate Easter?

Easter is an ancient holiday that is celebrated in many countries. For Christians, it is the commemoration of the death and rebirth of Jesus Christ. However, Easter has deep roots and traditions that go back well before Christianity (which is 2000 years old).

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The word Easter comes from Eostre, the ancient Germanic goddess of spring (popular from the 6th century BC). Eostre found a colorful bird that was too injured to be able to fly again, so she turned it into a rabbit. Amazingly, the rabbit kept the ability to lay eggs. To say thank you, the rabbit gave Eostre a basket of her colorful eggs as a gift. In kind, followers of Eostre honored spring with gifts of colorful bird eggs. This tradition spread throughout Europe and did not change until the mid 1800's when European manufacturers began to produce chocolate eggs. The chocolate was very popular and the custom evolved, so that today it is common to give baskets of chocolate Easter eggs. Migrants to the United States, Australia and other countries brought the folk tale and tradition with them.

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If you look even further back than the legend of Eostre, you can find plenty evidence of ancient cultures decorating and giving eggs in Spring. For more than 3000 years, the Chinese have been painting eggs red for spring festivals, the Zorastrians (Middle East - 2500 years ago) offered colored eggs on their New Year's Eve which is at the start of spring, and the Druids (Western Europe - 6000 years ago) used them in ceremonies held on the spring equinox (when day and night are of equal length). Incredibly, a large stash of 60, 000 year old ostrich egg shells found at Diepkloof Rock Shelter in South Africa had detailed patterns scratched onto them.

Today, Easter is celebrated in many countries, in many ways.

- In Eastern Europe people use wax and dye to create detailed designs on hard-boiled eggs.
- In the Netherlands and Germany Easter fires are lit at sunset on Easter Sunday.
- In Bermuda kites are flown.
- In Nordic countries, the Easter holiday is associated with murder mysteries. Major TV stations run crime and detective marathons and publishing houses release novels just before Easter.
- In Finland, Sweden and Denmark small children dress as witches and go door-to-door collecting chocolate eggs.
- In Switzerland (the land of cuckoo clocks) the cuckoo brings the eggs.
- In Westphalia (a region of Germany) a fox brings the eggs.
- In the United Kingdom egg knocking competitions are held. Competitors line up and knock eggs together. If an egg is cracked the competitor is out.
- In the United States of America, an Easter Party for children is hosted by the President. A highlight of this event is the egg rolling race.
- In Australia people also give Chocolate Easter Bilbies. The bilby is an endangered native Australian mammal that looks similar to a rabbit. Some of the proceeds of each sale go to the protection of endangered species.
- In France, children throw eggs in the air and catch them. If you drop your egg you're out.
- In Egypt, Easter Monday is a public holiday that marks an ancient spring festival. Egyptians spend the day in parks and gardens.
- In Florence, Italy an enormous 300 year old cart that is decorated with flowers is dragged through the streets. At the end of its journey, it is bombarded with fireworks and explosions to ensure a good harvest for the year.

However, in most countries that celebrate Easter, two customs are honored; people give decorated or chocolate eggs as gifts and children hunt for hidden eggs.

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Ten Mistakes When Taking A Cruise

It's a shame to lay out 0 - ,500 on a dreamy cruise vacation only to encounter unnecessary mishaps and inconveniences. So, in an effort to minimize the likelihood of a bump in the road to your perfect vacation, here are some common potholes that you can avoid.

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Mistake #1: Not Making Your Luggage Distinctive. At the end of your cruise, your luggage will be placed in a huge room with THOUSANDS of pieces of luggage, probably in some designated area based on the color of a luggage tag provided by the ship. No matter how familiar you think you are with your own luggage, it's amazing how well your bags will blend in with the mass of cargo surrounding them. Having a quick, easy way to identify your luggage will be a major relief, especially if it gets misplaced.

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BUT, that isn't the main reason to make your luggage stand out. You will be entering this cavernous room with a couple thousand other people, some of whom stayed up all night partying. They are going to be impatient to get their bag and get out and there is a fairly good chance that their vision isn't so good. If your bag looks like their bag, it could be a goner. And, if a stranger does take your luggage it could be hours, even days, before you get it back.

Do something durable and noticeable to your luggage so that it not only is recognizable to you, but also let's bleary-eyed fellow travelers know that your bag is not their bag. Put stickers on it, paint a day-glo streak around it, sew a teddy bear onto the outside... just make sure it stands out.

Mistake #2: Not Researching Shore Excursions Beforehand. It should come as no surprise that cruise line advertising folks have the ability to describe each and every shore excursion as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Of course, no cruise is complete without shore excursions and many of them are absolutely wonderful chances to do things you would never do otherwise. But, be smart here. It's okay to get hoodwinked into thinking that palm trees do sway all day long and that sand feels like silk under your feet. But, it's a whole 'nother thing to be looking forward to that perfect, serene afternoon on a remote beach only to find out you have 500 friends, some with young kids, crowding around you and bumping into your beach chair while vendors hawk everything from coconut shells to t-shirts.

Before you commit, read some reviews, talk to the cruise ship shore excursion folks, ask fellow passengers, do some thinking. Most cruise ships have a "No Refund" policy on shore excursions, but don't be afraid to ask for one if your experience is truly unacceptable. Better still, find out what you're getting before you go. Many (if not most) shore excursions are just great and you'll be happy you went. But cover your stump and you'll be glad you did.

Mistake #3: Runaway Bar Tabs. Unless you specifically choose a package that includes it, your bar tab is NOT included in the "all inclusive" part of your cruise. Adding to the bite is the ubiquitous 15% gratuity that gets added to every purchase you make on board a ship.

I could suggest that you drink less, but that's just plain dumb! You're on a cruise! So, pay attention to how much you drink. Those cute little umbrellas drinks that come in a stunning canary-yellow cup will cost you about twice what a basic cocktail costs. Cruise ship booze is already costly enough; you don't need to help them out by spending more for a cup that you'll stash in a closet when you get home.

Cruise ships have a policy against bringing alcohol on board, but the policy is very loosely enforced if you don't flaunt it. In other words, don't strap a handle onto a case of Budweiser and check it as baggage or load up your carry-on bag with bottles of Wild Turkey. Discreetly packed airline bottles of booze or cans of beer will probably go unnoticed. Don't try to sponsor a frat party, but you can definitely help yourself out a bit.

You are allowed to bring your own wine on board if you plan to drink it at dinner, though you are charged a "corking fee". And, you can also bring a small stash of non-alcoholic beverages (soda, water, etc) with no problem. You should definitely bring some water, especially if you're cruising in warm climates.

Mistake #4: Ignoring the Fury of the Sun Gods. Sun Burn treatments are the fourth most popular reason that people on cruises visit the ship's infirmary. (The first three are: 1) bumps and bruises, 2) indigestion, 3) seasickness). Once you're burned, there isn't much anyone can do for you except try to alleviate the pain. (My favorite treatment for that is something called "Traumeel". You can't find it in the drugstore, but most health food places will have it.)

If you're cruising in the winter months (Nov - Feb), you don't have as big a problem. Even when you are in the sub-tropics, and even though your skin probably hasn't seen sun for several months, the sun is hitting you at an angle and that makes all the difference. You still need to be careful, but you have more leeway.

In the spring and summer months, when the sun is overhead, you can get burned in as little as an hour, especially in the afternoon hours. Some silly people forgo the sunscreen because they want to make sure they get a tan. Not a good idea. Start your sunbathing session with at least 15 SPF (30 if you haven't been in the sun, with extra protection on your lips). As you get closer to your end time, use less SPF. Even with a good sun blocker, your friends and co-workers will still know that you've been out in the sun.

Hats are a serious plus if you are in sunburn territory. Most people don't put sunscreen on their heads, and so the part of your body that is getting the most direct rays for the longest period of time remains unprotected. Visors don't protect your skull; you need some type of covering.

Mistake #5: No First Aid Kit. As previously noted, there are several reasons that passengers end up wasting time (and sometimes money) visiting the infirmary. You may not be able to avoid all mishaps, but you can prepare for the lesser blunders. By the way, all of this applies double if you're traveling with kids!

Bumps and Bruises. The biggest reason people visit the ship's doctor probably has something to do with mixing booze, slippery surfaces, metal railings and the rolling motion of the ship. For most of your injuries, the right size band-aid and a good analgesic crème will do the trick. A simple travel or camping first-aid kit will have what you need.

Indigestion. One of the drawbacks of having such constant access to all that wonderful rich food that cruise ships are famous for is that people eat it. And eat it. And eat some more. Unless you are a strict disciplinarian, you can expect to consume about two or three times your normal food quantity in an average day. Add to that the steady consumption of alcohol that is a hallmark of cruising and voila! Indigestion. Take along some Alka Seltzer, some Pepto Bismol and sum type of antacid tablet, like Tums or Rolaids. All of these are available in tablet form. Some ships stores will have some of this, but not always and if you need it in the middle of the night you're out of luck.

Seasickness. The best treatment is prevention. After you get it, well... yuck! Check out the various forms of Dramamine that are now available, including pills and patches. The directions will tell you how much lead time before you hit the waves you need to get the maximum effect. You can also get acupressure wrist bands that work really well with some people.

One of the best treatments I've ever seen for treating seasickness once it hits you is Coke and soda crackers - lots of both. Some people say that 7-Up works also, but I think there is something in the caffeine in Coke that helps the whole process. If you are feeling sick, your cabin is the worst place to be unless the weather topside is really bad. Being able to get fresh air and see the horizon helps to trigger the brain sensors that calm seasickness.

Headaches. We all know that booze can make your head scream for mercy, but so can sun and lots of new food. If you're not used to heavy carbs in your diet and you scarf up lots of pastries, ice creams or gourmet desserts, your body can trigger the same symptoms it does when detoxing from too much alcohol. And, if you experience bumps, cuts or sunburn a pain reliever is a good thing. Have a supply of different types of pain reliever. Depending on the reason for your pain, aspirin may not work as well as Tylenol or Ibuprofen in a given circumstance. (Do I need to remind you to read the label and follow the directions?)

Mistake #6: What? No Camera? A Picture Really Is Worth A Thousand Words. It's hard to imagine, but some people will actually take the trip of their dreams and not take a camera. Or, they'll take a camera, but they won't keep it with them. Don't do that. If you have a digital camera, use it, use it, use it. If you don't have a digital camera, spring for about three or four disposable ones. And be sure to take you camera to the Life Boat Drill. You'll know why when you get there.

A side bar to this camera thing is the Photo-ops that you have all over the ship. There will be dozens of them on your cruise - when you're boarding, when you're dining, when you're getting off the ship, at the pool - at times it will seem like some one is taking your picture every time you turn around. You are, of course, free to decline. But I recommend that you give it a shot. Yes, these photos can be goofy, even cheesy, but they can also be a lot of fun. Plus, you just might end up with the best shot of the cruise. Some of the settings are outright elegant, rivaling what you would find at a studio. It's a great way to get a nice formal picture for your living room or to send to your family, and there's no sitting fee!

Mistake #7: Buying From Street Vendors. Where ever you go on your cruise, once you step ashore you will be approached (accosted?) by local folks trying to sell you something. I'm not talking about the shops and makeshift kiosks you may find, I'm talking about the guys selling Cuban cigars out of their trunks, or pirated CDs out of a cardboard box.

Your best bet, unless you've been there and really know the score, is to just say NO. Regardless of how appealing the offer, just say NO. Most of the products are very low quality and you have no way to check it out before you buy. I know of people who bought CD cases with no CDs inside, watches that didn't work, Cuban cigars purchased in the local drugstore, "handmade" jewelry that came out of bubble gum machines, the list is endless. And this applies SIXTEEN FOLD if some local guy tries to sell you some pot.

In most ports of call frequented by American-based vessels, this street traffic is actually illegal. You probably won't get into trouble, but why risk it? Save your money for the honest locals and their little shops that are going to sell you watches that do work, they just fall apart in a few weeks.

Mistake #8: Thinking You'll Save Money "In Town". One of the charming aspects of cruising is the ritual of visiting the local markets and shops. This is truly a fun experience and you can find all manner of unique and special items, but you probably won't find any real bargains. There are bargains to be found, but you really need to know what you're looking for and what it's worth in the US. Don't be cynical about it. It's all part of the experience. Somehow, buying a wooden giraffe in Grand Turk is better than buying the same wooden giraffe at Pier 1 Imports, even if you pay a little more. Go figure.

You actually can save money when you buy liquor or tobacco products, but it might not be as good a deal as it first seems. Most ports have what are called "duty free" shops which means that there was no "duty" (i.e. import tariffs) paid on the products and so they are cheaper to sell in that country. The same applies to diamonds and other fine jewelry. The challenge is knowing what an item is actually worth. Just because these guys saved on the import fees doesn't mean they're passing the saving on to you. Also keep in mind that you are supposed to declare to US customs any purchases you make in a foreign country. Duty Free in Nassau doesn't mean it's duty free when you come back to the US. There are certain exemptions for personal items, but if you shell out some big bucks, you might lose the saving when you pay the US import fees.

So, don't be a miser. Spend freely. Do some Christmas shopping. Spread your money around the local economy and have fun doing it. Just remember, these guys are in the business of selling stuff to foreign tourists. They know where the money is coming from and they know how to keep as much of it as they can.

Mistake #9: Sticking Around The Port. Yes, ships are safe in the harbor, but that's not what ships are built for. Most ports of call, especially when the call is for a day or less, are set up to provide the ships passengers with a particular experience. They accomplish this by making their ports as visitor-friendly as possible. The experience of Mexico that you get right outside the port in Cozumel is decidedly different than the experience of Mexico on the other side of the island. Around the port, all manner of business are set up to appeal to a particular comfort-zone and a particular economy.

But, often, just a few miles from the port, you can have a completely different experience. If you travel to Grand Turk, for example, you can spend a delightful afternoon at the resort-like environment of Margaritaville. The beach is well-maintained, though a bit crowded. There is a huge beautiful pool with lots of palm trees and man-made waterfalls. A beer will cost you about and a burger will be about .

But a short taxi ride to the old downtown area will take you to a much more authentic location. At least for the time being. You can stroll crowded, dusty streets; see skinny dogs shuffling through garbage cans and have a local beer and piece of fried chicken for about .75 at one of the local pubs. Sure, the pub would never pass an American food inspection and you may have to do without air conditioning. But the experience can be wonderful. You won't get that experience staying close to the port.

Of course, you want to be safe and you want to be able to get back to your ship before it sales, so keep all that in mind. But, there is a whole universe of color, sound, smells and people that don't ever get to the port and it's worth the trouble to find it.

Mistake #10: Not Preparing For the Journey Home. Sooner or later (it will seem much too soon), your cruise will come to an end and you'll have to return to the land of making your own bed and cooking your own food. The journey home is often an irritating necessity and something to endure as quickly as possible. But, if you rush back into the reality you left behind, it's kind of like a diver coming to the surface too quick after a deep dive. Your mind and body will resist.

If possible, do something fun on the way home. Stay an extra night in a hotel or visit a landmark or even a theme park. At the very least, stop at a nice restaurant for a leisurely lunch or dinner. A quiet picnic (even with fast food) at a rest area can be a perfectly delightful way to transition home.

Here's a couple of things to do to make your return less stressful and hurried.

o If you're driving, fill up with gas before you go to the port. Make sure that, when you leave, you don't have to stop until you want to.

o When you have breakfast on your last morning, take some pastries with you, or even make yourself an egg sandwich. If you thought to bring a thermos with you, fill up on coffee or juice for the ride home.

o Leave some bottles of water in your car. Many bus companies will allow you to leave some personal items on the bus when you get to the port, so include some water and a pillow.

o Find out what the weather is back home. I once stood shivering in 40 degree weather outside the airport in a pair of shorts and an aloha shirt. Hey, it was 85 degrees when I left Puerto Rico that morning!

o Take the next day off. If you are returning to port on a weekend, good. If not, schedule the time off before you leave. Or call in sick. You'll be SOOOOOOOO glad you did.

A Final Suggestion.

Keep up with all of the information documents you got on the cruise - daily ships newsletter, shore excursion price list, etc. When you get home, file all this in a folder and then use if for reference material for yourself or someone else the next time a cruise is planned. And before your forget, write down all the things you wish you'd thought of and that you wish you had known. Make a complete list and stash it with the other cruise information you brought back.

Happy Cruising!

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Confessions Of A Female Sub: How Did I Get Here?

Wow. Just how did I get here? To the bottom of my secret garden, down and round the winding path, past the pond and behind the bushes, hidden from everyone I had ever met, until now?

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It's a long story, a true journey of discovery, helped along the way with an increasing sense of certainty and more than a few deep breaths.

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I was brought up, like lots of women, to believe that sex was something private, something that happened between a man and a woman during marriage, definitely not before and definitely not to be enjoyed. A perfunctory provision of the wedding vow, if you like. And boy, was that ever boring!

Having followed the expected passage into womanhood, I married at twenty one, still innocent in matters of the flesh, save the odd kiss and cuddle and slap of the hand if things looked like they were going too far.

Kevin was a great guy in many ways, considerate and caring, a good provider. We were from a similar background, sharing traditional family values and views on marriage. But, it was clear, even on our wedding night, that the great depths of physical passion I was hoping for were never going to be. Kev was a straightforward roll-on roll-off, peck on the cheek and sleep, kind of man. I was doomed to a life of unfulfilled sexual desire, or so I thought.

Although I had always been taught that 'nice girls don't', it hadn't stopped my fertile imagination from fantasising all sorts of sexually lurid ideas from my early teens. They had begun, naively, at about the age of thirteen, mostly concentrating on the legendary tall, dark, handsome stranger whisking me off my feet and forcing himself upon me, much to my feigned protests and secret excitement. I didn't have much material to feed my curious mind at that time, but my fantasies soon diversified when I discovered my brother's porn magazines when I was snooping around in his room one day, curious as to what he did behind closed doors.

Well, all I can say is that the Saturday morning I discovered his stash was the beginning of my lifelong fascination with sexually explicit imagery and the early blossoming of the sexual being I was to become.

By the time I married Kevin I had a huge catalogue of sordid fantasies in my mind that I could draw on anytime I wanted. Before I left home I used to satisy myself regularly when everyone was out or had gone to bed, opening my mind to more and more exciting scenarios. When I discovered the S&M scene for the first time, through a TV programme I wasn't supposed to be watching whilst my folks were at a party, I was so turned on that I had to rush to my room the minute the programme ended.

I didn't dare tell Kevin any of this. I was locked into my secret fantasy world and knew that Kev would be horrified if I told him even just a little of what went on in my head. Jeez, he wouldn't even do it with the lights on! I managed to get through the once-a-week Sunday morning marital duty by disappearing into my secret garden. And, it seemed the more bored I became, the further I went in my fantasies.

By the time I was twenty-five I admit that it was starting to bother me. The fantasies I now used were dominated by fully-fledged sado-masochistic scenes. Although I occasionally imagined myself as the dominator, usually I was the one being dominated, the submissive. Despite my upbringing which dictated a woman's subservient role, I wasn't that enamoured with my subconscious desire to be so submissive and controlled by a man. Kev was the provider alright but it was me that ran the show, like a lot of other women I guess. Meanwhile, as the years went by, Kev still had no idea about my secret self and I tried to ignore the feeling that I was living a lie.

It was when Larry appeared in my life that everything changed. It was a classic meeting; I dropped the groceries loading them into the car one day and he had just stepped out of his car in the bay next to mine. He came over to help and that was it, we just clicked. Little did I know what that meeting was to bring! By the time we had loaded the bags into the boot we'd agreed to meet up for coffee, swapping numbers. That twinkle in his eye as we said goodbye was all I needed to put any guilty thoughts to one side.

Coffee with Larry soon turned into a regular thing. He certainly wasn't shy in talking about everything under the sun and he had me mesmerised with tales of his exploits. I found him so easy to talk to that when the conversation turned to our sexual experiences, on just our third meeting, I was shocked to hear myself starting to open up the dark secrets of my mind. It was just a little at first but Larry was really encouraging and understanding. He reassured me that there was nothing wrong with feeling the way I did, that I could enjoy being sexually submissive if I wanted to without having to be controlled in other areas of my life.

Soon, Larry was telling me about a whole alternative scene that existed, and of his sexual pleasure in acting as master in a sub-dom relationship. He talked about it so casually it was as if he was describing something more ordinary, like interior design, which in a way I suppose he was! Inside, I was alive and bursting, my already expansive imagination soaring to new heights, fuelled by Larry. I had no idea how I was going to keep all this inside, and really, I didn't want to. Larry picked up on this of course and, looking back, I can see that during those early coffee meetings I had already begun to assume my long-desired role, allowing him to lead me to where we are now.

Never before had I been so weak to temptation. You hear people say 'I just couldn't help myself' and probably, like me, you think people who give in are weak and merely making excuses. But, really, I couldn't help myself, it was like becoming complete, whole, the real me.

A quick coffee turned to leisurely lunches, and lunch in turn became whole afternoons in motels, where Larry joined me in my secret garden. I had not resisted in the slightest at his suggestion that I become slave to his master. Within a few months I had fulfilled every one of my fantasies, and some of Larry's.

During those months poor Kev didn't suspect anything. Did I feel bad? Yes, I did actually. He was a decent man and I knew it would hurt him to find out what I had been up to. But, there was no going back for me. He couldn't see it but I had changed. Sure, I still performed my marital duties but I lived for my time with Larry. As time went by, I longed to take our exploits out of the motel. I wanted Larry all the time. In a funny way, you might say that while the shackles of my marriage to Kev had been stifling, I was actively looking to get some new ones, leather bound this time though!

Inevitably, the afternoon fun with Larry took a more serious turn. I had reached the point where it just wasn't enough anymore and I couldn't face the thought of a lifetime with Kev and snatched afternoon's with Larry. It all came to a head one day. Larry could tell I wasn't my usual self and eventually coaxed it out of me. That turned out to be the second best thing I ever did, the first being dropping the groceries in the parking lot that day. After I confessed that I wanted to leave Kev for him, Larry told me that he had just been waiting for me to get to that point. Although he's a fantastic master, he wouldn't force me into doing something I didn't want to do.

I was ecstatic. We made plans immediately to take our relationship to the next level. I would have to leave Kev, of course, and Larry would have to move out of his marital home too. Strangely, neither of us felt too guilty, knowing that we had formed a bond so strong that we had no choice. In fact, we were so excited that, whilst talking about telling our partners of our plans, we suddenly realised that the conversation had somehow turned into planning the dungeon we were going to build in our new home together!

That was seven years ago. When it came to it, Kev took it quite well, all things considered. I didn't tell him the exact truth about why I was leaving, he just wouldn't have understood. How can you tell someone you're leaving them to be another person's sexual slave?

Larry and I are still together and, really, we have the most perfect relationship I could ever want. To everyone else we look like a normal couple; we share responsibilities and chores and are equal in most aspects of our day-to-day lives. But, when we shut the door on the world, we become who we truly are and I find it just as exciting now as I did then. We even built that dungeon we talked about all those years before, sometimes inviting friends round we've met through the scene. Mostly though, it's just me and my master, taking each other to places we need to go, somewhere I can't come back from. Do I have a problem being submissive? Oh no. I wouldn't swap those leather bonds for the world!

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Role of a Teacher in Society

The role of a teacher in society is both significant and valuable.It has far-reaching influence on the society he lives in and no other personality can have an influence more profound than that of a teacher. Students are deeply affected by the teacher's love and affection, his character, his competence, and his moral commitment. A popular teacher becomes a model for his students. The students try to follow their teacher in his manners, costumes, etiquette, style of conversation and his get up. He is their ideal.

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He can lead them anywhere. During their early education, the students tend to determine their aims in life and their future plans, in consultation with their teachers. Therefore, a good and visionary teacher can play a prominent role in making the future of his students while as a corrupt teacher can only harm his students much more seriously than a class of corrupt and perverted judiciary, army, police, bureaucracy, politicians or technocrats. A corrupt and incompetent teacher in not only a bad individual, but also an embodiment of a corrupt and incompetent generation. A nation with corrupt teachers is a nation at risk; every coming day announces the advent of its approaching destruction.

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The importance of a teacher as an architect of our future generations demands that only the best and the most intelligent and competent members of our intelligentsia be allowed to qualify for this noble profession. It is unfortunate to find that generally the worst and the most incapable people of the society find their way into this profession. Anyone who fails to find an opening in any other walk of life, gets into this profession and recklessly plays with the destiny of the nation. An important reason for this is understood to be the poor salaries of our primary and secondary teachers which are no better than that of clerks. A large number of our teachers is , therefore, frustrated and disinterested.

They have to go for part-time jobs to meet their basic needs. Again, the teaching profession also does not enjoy due respect in the society. The primary and secondary teachers are particularly at a disadvantage. Their status is lower than that of doctors, engineers, advocates, civil servants; even lower than that of semi literate and illiterate traders. It would therefore require great commitment for an intelligent individual, however fond of education and training he may be, to forsake the career of a doctor or engineer in favour of teaching. Therefore, while selecting good teachers, it must be borne in mind that better opportunities,prospects and perks are offered to the teachers.

When we speak of good teachers it means that a teacher must be a model of faith and piety and should have a fairly good knowledge . A teacher should consider it his duty to educate and train his students and should feel responsible for it. He should feel that his students have been entrusted to him and he should avoid any breach of the trust the society has reposed in him. He should be a sociable person with his roots in the society. People should take him as their well-wisher and a sincere friend who cares for their children. It should be ascertained at all cost that a candidate for this profession has a natural acumen and aptitude for teaching.

He should actively participate in the social activities in a positive way. He should know the art of teaching with a deep insight into child psychology. He should always deal with the students in a just manner. He should not lose his self-control on mistakes his students may commit, and instead he should respect their feelings and ego, and should try to understand and resolve their difficulties with grace while keeping his cool. He should be able to smile in the face of bitter criticism on his opinions, and should not feel ashamed or humiliated to accept his mistakes wholeheartedly.

He should be proud of his culture, his national dress and his national language.He should be a missionary, a mentor, a reformer and a guide besides being a dedicated tutor. In other words, he should be a perfect teacher and a perfect educationist.
While highlighting the role of a teacher in the society, it is imperative to involve the role of parents, too, in the process of character building of the students. In the past, parents and teachers both used to make the best of their efforts to provide an atmosphere to their children congenial to the development of higher virtues and morals. But the gross social change over the last fifty years, large scale urbanization, ruthless competition for financial gains, and heavy preoccupation in everyday life deplete all time and energy from the parents, leaving behind little time or energy for them to monitor their children.

Whatever time they have at their disposal is consumed by newspapers, television and other recreations. As a result, the younger generation hardly gets any opportunity to share ideas with their elders or to enter into a meaningful discussion. On the other hand, this idea is gaining ground among us that education is not meant to build up better human beings, but only to get better jobs. Consequently, the students' minds are obsessed with better jobs and dreams for higher social status.It is,therefore,duty of the parents, too, to take active interest in the day-to-day progress of their children both in and outside the institution and apprise them of the real meaning of education.

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